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Tribute to Diana ...
 (copyright © 2012 by Towne Square America™)

Part Two of Celebrating a Life Together.

• Overview, Diana Going to Spain
• A Marriage in Spain ... Two Lives Become One (this page)
• It All Worked For Many Reasons

A Marriage in Spain ... Two Lives Become One
by: Bil. Alvernaz (05/02/2010)

The wedding, July 11th, 1970, was performed by Father Don Francisco in Buitrago Del Lozoyo, the 2,000 year old village in the mountains, sixty kilometers to the North of Madrid, Spain. Susanna Barrio interpreted the 6:00 p.m. ceremony that was conducted in Spanish in the Church of Nuestra Senora del Castillo that was built in the 12th century church. Not far from the Church were the ruins of a Roman castle (the owner of the tobacco shop had the keys - BIG, 2-foot in size, keys!) that looked out over the river where Diana, I, and members of the “wedding party” had been swimming for most of that memorable day in July. I was still in the water until about a half hour before the wedding, much to Margaret Crow’s chagrin ... and I do have to now admit that I did love “rocking her somewhat uppity English boat” on a regular basis.

Across the river was one of the largest bull ranches that raised bulls for the bull fights in Madrid and other major cities throughout northern Spain. During the day while “floating around” in inner tubes, we would get close to the shore where many of the bulls were standing right there in the water only but a matter of a few feet from us, but we never risked getting too close. I mean these were huge bulls weighing in at 1,000 kilos or more! Just as we were heading up the hill from swimming, on our way to get ready for the wedding we ran into four Americans, three girls and one guy, named Greg. We asked them what they were doing for the evening and found that they had no real plans, so I invited them to the wedding ... which they did, indeed, attend. It wasn’t until later at the reception that I learned Greg was a draft dodger that led to many, many “interesting conversations” with people from the American Embassy as well as the others who were in the Air Force with me! But, everyone got along together just fine and that was probably because of the Sangria, wine, and Champaign that flowed freely on into the wee hours of the morning “loosing up” the tightest of uptight individuals (and there were definitely a few of “them folks” in attendance, all of whom were eventually dancing on table tops before all was said and done ... some even were found skinny dipping in Perry Foster’s swimming pool in Madrid later as dawn was lighting up “the next day” in crimson red).

This particular Saturday had been a warm and beautiful summer day. The sky clouded over towards evening as the reception (which would go until well past dawn) got under way in the courtyard of the hilltop Máson Inn overlooking the village. As this day would mark the beginning for Diana and me, it provided somewhat of a spectacular “argumentative knock down, drag out, showdown” of a drama that culminated in a spectacular, hard-to-not-miss screaming match the pretty much ended Greg and Donna Culley’s five year marriage ... so as one marriage was beginning another one was in a nose dive. Greg was the guy who let me drive his 1969 British Racing Green Porsche 911 all the time (that he had bought for less than $6,000), because I has taught him how to drive a manual six-speed. Greg was also the guy who was legendary (and proud of  if) for teaching his three year old daughter a variety of colorful curse words (many of which Donna Culley herself used during their “show” late that evening, just as she abruptly exited the festivities, taking that Porsche and leaving Greg to find his own way home)!

Just before Diana walked into the church for the ceremony she wasn’t sure she would be able to walk or even stand because, as she told Jim Crow, who “gave the bride away,” and George Dunn, who had been my roommate, that her knees were “like jelly.” And, her legs were visibly shaking all through the ceremony that was conducted in Spanish as Susanna interpreted just as she had done so many times up to that point for us ... no one really noticed Diana’s legs shaking, but what they did notice was Larry Elmore, the Best Man (my roommate from Hancock Field in Syracuse, New York, who came over for the wedding by “catching a hop” on a military transport flight from his new duty station in Florida), fumbling through his pockets trying to find what he did with the wedding ring for Diana. Now this is a really interesting part of how our marriage would be “tied together.” First of all, while it would have been very affordable, bordering almost on stealing, to buy Diana a diamond wedding ring (this was before the devaluing of the dollar as a slap in the face to President Nixon, so you could get great deals on everything ... especially if you knew the right people), and I mean we’re talking a “big, ‘ole fat” diamond ring that would have cost less that $100 ... but, Diana wanted a plain gold band (which really set the tone for the unpretentious nature of who Diana and I would be “as one”). Diana had that pure gold ring inscribed on the inside of the band with, “Buitrago del Lozoya, Julio 11, 1970.” The engraving added “much” to the cost that ran the total up to a whopping $11.00. But, that’s not the end of the ring story. I didn’t want a wedding band. My feeling (then and right up to now, this very minute) was/is that I don’t need a ring, because in my mind I would always know Diana is the only person for me.

Well, Father Don Francisco felt otherwise. “There will be no marriage without you putting on a ring,” he declared. And, even before Susanna translated what he said, I had pretty much figured out what the deal was. So, I borrowed a ring from Dave Simpson (the guy taking pictures of the wedding for us) ... and, finally, after much fumbling around, Larry did manage to retrieve both rings so the ceremony could go on. At this point, we need to back up to earlier in the day on this wedding day for one other interesting “interlude” in all of this. Diana and I went with Susanna to the Church that morning to make sure everything was all set for the wedding that would take place at 6:00 p.m. as we had planned. We ran into the Father in the town square, near the church ... when Susanna started talking to him about the wedding, he asked, “Oh, is that today?” And, although he had completely forgotten about the wedding (which caused a few missed heartbeats for both Diana and me, he assured us. that there would be no problem “arranging things” for the wedding to take place ... and, sure enough, just like Susanna had also assured us after talking to the Father, everything magically fell into place for our wedding to come off without a hitch. This is the singular moment where I learned (and have believed so ever since) that “these things have a way of working themselves out.”

Diana had just turned 21 and I would soon be 23 (four days after the wedding). We didn't know what the future would bring, but we did know our wedding's theme of "simple, but elegant" (that came from a poem written for us - see below) would guide us through life and all of fate's twists, turns, and surprises. And, over the years, the fabric of our lives together has been interwoven with that tenant, along with these incredible lines from Kahlil Gibran’s insightful masterpiece, The Prophet ...

"And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the Oak tree and Cypress
grow not in each other's shadow."

THE PROPHET, Kahlil Gibran

But, there was another poem written specifically for us. Perry Foster penned it the day of the infamous “Fish Pudding Episode.” We’ll come back to the Fish Pudding “thing” in a bit.

Here is what Perry wrote:

“Now that the wedding is over. The ceremony and the Chant. I’m sure we all agree, It was simple - but elegant.

And, now we toast to Diana and Bil. Tonight they stay together and unless she takes the pill.

Nine months hence, we’ll have another Diana or Bil.”

We spent as much time as we could in Buitrago before and after our wedding, including an entire week in October (for Halloween ... no one in the village could figure out what we were doing by carving up a pumpkin). The day that Perry wrote the poem for our wedding involved the Fish Pudding Episode that happened a few weeks before we were married. Susanna had a house not from from the one Perry rented (from two Professors at Oxford). So after picking wild berries on the side of the hill near where Perry’s place was, Susanna called out to us that she had prepared a meal especially for Diana and me ... a meal she was known far and wide for because of the culinary delights (those weren’t her words, but the words of everyone who had ever experienced it). So, we showed up with bunches of blackberries for dessert.

This would turn out to be the exquisite lunch Susanna boasted about (and then some, except for one “small thing”), in our honor, of course, and it truly was, indeed one of the most amazing meal experiences ... except for that one “small, big thing”). While we were finishing dessert, Perry wrote the poem for our wedding and then shared it with everyone to cap off the meal ... he agreed to read the poem at our reception following our wedding. Now, about this lunch. The centerpiece entree was, it turned out, was Fish Pudding, something Diana absolutely did not want to eat, because she didn’t like fish. But, because Diana didn’t want to hurt Susanna’s feelings, Diana “downed” a rather large scoopful of the lumpy, rather fishy smelling pudding that Susanna “plopped down on her plate.” Diana did all of this quite gracefully and elegantly, actually, without anyone knowing that she was extremely close to gagging and/or “losing it all.” No one ever knew, except me, that it was probably one of the worst “centerpiece” meals for Diana, smack dab in the middle of everything else that was absolutely, perfectly delicious ... all of which was topped off with the most heavenly Flan we’ve ever had (before or since) ... with the incredibly, sinfully, wonderful blackberries topped with fresh whipped cream. And, yes, we were all ready for a midday siesta right there, looking out at the river, on Susanna’s patio as soft breezes danced and swirled all around us!

Now, back to the wedding. Below are pictures that are among our favorites from that day. Somehow, some way, we didn’t manage to get a photo of Leon, the enormous, gigantic ... I mean really, really big (bordering on close to the size of a pony) Saint Bernard. He wandered all around outside the church wile we were getting married (almost like he was waiting for us), and then he followed everyone up the hill to the Meson where he lapped up wine, Champaign, and sangria from whomever would oblige him, while also gobbling up as many table scraps as he could con people into giving him (no wonder he was so big!). And, he was there until the last of us left at dawn!

There is really no way to put into words just how fanciful and storybook-like our wedding was, that we did in our own way. It was so, so incredible and both Diana and I remember so much about all of what unfolded the July day so long ago in Spain ... these pictures do, however, capture much of what words fall far short in conveying about that single, significant “first day” that has now led to so many others, as of July 11, 2010, totaling 14,620 days!

NEXT: It All Worked for Many Reasons